Jessica is a creature of habit. She craves structure and routine. And if you mess with her structure often times her day (and mine) will be negatively affected.
Jessica has a pair of pink shoes that she wears EVERY day. At this point, they aren't so pink anymore,more of like a brown-mauve color. I also am not sure whether or not they even fit her anymore.....but she continues to insist on wearing them every morning.
Last week I received a note from her school PT asking that Jessica wear sneakers on Wednesday and Friday. I instantly felt a pang of anxiety, because I knew this was going to be an issue.
On Monday I went out to the store, and I bought Jessica a pair of sneakers. I fought with myself over whether or not to buy her a pair with laces or not. I was hoping if I bought a pair with laces, this would prompt Jessica to finally learn how to tie her shoes.
I made the wrong choice.
She is absolutely crazy about which way the ties go, and making them even. I thought I would only be faced with the anxiety of switching shoes. That is definitely not the case. Now we spend precious time in the morning getting her laces just right. When does it get easier?
As a side note, Jessica did spice up this issue with her own Jessica-ness. She insists that she doesn't like her laces because they are too "noodley". Oh Jess...you make me laugh.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Jessica and bad days
Today has not been a good day for Jessica. I will say that she has been doing a lot better as of late.....so for her to have a day like today feels like a big punch to the gut.
Jessica was invited to a birthday party for one of the girls in her class. It was being held at a local paint your own pottery place. She had been excited to go all week. Until it was time to go.
Getting her dressed was a disaster. She didn't want to wear any of the outfits I picked out for her. But unlike a typical kid, the reasons she didn't want to wear them weren't because she didn't like the color etc. She didn't want to wear one dress because she said it was too "didgy". Now I am sure that classification is very clear to her. But to me, not so much.
After lots of tears and anxiety, I finally got her dressed. I think my next mistake was making her wear a pony tail. This caused a freakout of the highest magnitude. She told me that the elastic was ugly, she looked ugly in the pony tail, and that she wanted her little bump to be covered. I guess I should backtrack and let you know that a few years ago I discovered a lump right in front of her right ear, along her cheek. We took her to a plastic surgeon, and she had some tests done. Luckily, the bump was nothing that medically needed to be taken care of. But to a kid like Jessica, the bump is a HUGE deal. She always wants it covered, and has a lot of anxiety about it.
So after the getting dressed and bump covering ordeal, I was hopeful that she would get over the bad day hump and be happy to go to the party. The car ride was very tearful, but Jessica did pull herself together enough to get excited and ran into the party. At this point about 7 girls from her class ran up to her and informed her that they had Hello Kitty plaster statues to paint. The girls in her class really do watch out for her ;-) So I felt ok about leaving her.
Jessica is at the age where parents "dump and run" at birthday parties. So far this year Jessica has done very well at these parties without me there. Today was a little different. I went to pick her up after 90 minutes and I could see that she had been crying and that she was very upset. She kept insisting on a pink balloon, and asking where her goodies were. She was also upset that she couldn't watch her friend open her presents (the Mom smartly decided to do this at home). What makes Jessica different is at this age some of the kids may be thinking all of thiese things, but they don't react to them. They don't let the fact that their balloon isn't pink eat away at them until they can't control their actions.
I looked at the Dad of the birthday girl, and I could tell that Jessica had been acting this way the whole party. I immediatley felt embarassed....but then felt bad for Jessica because I knew that she was struggling to keep it together the whole time.
The good news is that I took Jessica home, she stiripped off her clothes and is happy as a clam playing with her Ugly Dolls. She needs structure and predictability....something that she didn't really have at the party today.
Jessica was invited to a birthday party for one of the girls in her class. It was being held at a local paint your own pottery place. She had been excited to go all week. Until it was time to go.
Getting her dressed was a disaster. She didn't want to wear any of the outfits I picked out for her. But unlike a typical kid, the reasons she didn't want to wear them weren't because she didn't like the color etc. She didn't want to wear one dress because she said it was too "didgy". Now I am sure that classification is very clear to her. But to me, not so much.
After lots of tears and anxiety, I finally got her dressed. I think my next mistake was making her wear a pony tail. This caused a freakout of the highest magnitude. She told me that the elastic was ugly, she looked ugly in the pony tail, and that she wanted her little bump to be covered. I guess I should backtrack and let you know that a few years ago I discovered a lump right in front of her right ear, along her cheek. We took her to a plastic surgeon, and she had some tests done. Luckily, the bump was nothing that medically needed to be taken care of. But to a kid like Jessica, the bump is a HUGE deal. She always wants it covered, and has a lot of anxiety about it.
So after the getting dressed and bump covering ordeal, I was hopeful that she would get over the bad day hump and be happy to go to the party. The car ride was very tearful, but Jessica did pull herself together enough to get excited and ran into the party. At this point about 7 girls from her class ran up to her and informed her that they had Hello Kitty plaster statues to paint. The girls in her class really do watch out for her ;-) So I felt ok about leaving her.
Jessica is at the age where parents "dump and run" at birthday parties. So far this year Jessica has done very well at these parties without me there. Today was a little different. I went to pick her up after 90 minutes and I could see that she had been crying and that she was very upset. She kept insisting on a pink balloon, and asking where her goodies were. She was also upset that she couldn't watch her friend open her presents (the Mom smartly decided to do this at home). What makes Jessica different is at this age some of the kids may be thinking all of thiese things, but they don't react to them. They don't let the fact that their balloon isn't pink eat away at them until they can't control their actions.
I looked at the Dad of the birthday girl, and I could tell that Jessica had been acting this way the whole party. I immediatley felt embarassed....but then felt bad for Jessica because I knew that she was struggling to keep it together the whole time.
The good news is that I took Jessica home, she stiripped off her clothes and is happy as a clam playing with her Ugly Dolls. She needs structure and predictability....something that she didn't really have at the party today.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Jessica and St Patrick's Day
I don't know why, but Jessica LOVES St. Patrick's Day. She loves to dress up in green, and pretend she is a leprechaun. It's funny because we aren't even Irish!
My husband is Italian and German, and I am Scottish. My husband really informs the kids about their Italian and German heritage. So much so that Jessica can sing the German national anthem......in German. It's pretty funny to be doing the dishes or something, and hear from another room "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles".
This love of Germany also explains why I often times find Jessica on YouTube watching Spongebob Squarepants in German. How she finds it, I have no idea.
Ok, so back to St Patrick's Day. This year Jessica wore a great headband, green shamrock shirt, and a necklace I got at a party store. It was a day she looked forward to going school.....so I was happy to dress her up in whatever she wanted to wear. Sometimes I wish there were these little holidays everyday so she would be eager to go to school. She had a good day too. Thank you St. Patrick :-)
My husband is Italian and German, and I am Scottish. My husband really informs the kids about their Italian and German heritage. So much so that Jessica can sing the German national anthem......in German. It's pretty funny to be doing the dishes or something, and hear from another room "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles".
This love of Germany also explains why I often times find Jessica on YouTube watching Spongebob Squarepants in German. How she finds it, I have no idea.
Ok, so back to St Patrick's Day. This year Jessica wore a great headband, green shamrock shirt, and a necklace I got at a party store. It was a day she looked forward to going school.....so I was happy to dress her up in whatever she wanted to wear. Sometimes I wish there were these little holidays everyday so she would be eager to go to school. She had a good day too. Thank you St. Patrick :-)
Monday, March 15, 2010
Jessica and no school
There was a big wind/rain storm here in the Northeast this weekend. Lots of downed trees, flooding, and power outages.
Luckily we still have electricity, but apparently this can't be said for the rest of my town. School has been cancelled for the day.
I went in to Jessica's room around 5:30am, right after I received the call. Jessica was awake (of course). I went in and told her there was no school....and I have to tell you....the look of pure joy on her face was PRICELESS.
Ahhh, to be a kid again :-)
Luckily we still have electricity, but apparently this can't be said for the rest of my town. School has been cancelled for the day.
I went in to Jessica's room around 5:30am, right after I received the call. Jessica was awake (of course). I went in and told her there was no school....and I have to tell you....the look of pure joy on her face was PRICELESS.
Ahhh, to be a kid again :-)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Jessica and her star
Jessica will not do homework. This is something that I have been struggling to try and get her to connect to. She absolutely hates to do any sort of writing, in school or at home. It is actually something the school has been really trying to work with her on. We are pretty confident she can do the work, but there is some sort of block that prohibits her from wanting to produce any written output.
Reading is obviously a big deal in 1st grade. I have tried so many different ways to get Jessica to "read". I have tried typing words into the computer (because we all know how much Jessica likes my laptop), I have tried writing words on a dry erase board, I have tried buying books about cats, dogs, etc., and I have tried any and every kind of reward system there is out there.
Here are the facts:
I have a child who won't write without a fight
I have a child who won't read (even though I know she can)
I was at Staples the other day, and saw that they had flashcards for sight words. They just happened to be next to the old school metallic stars. I got an idea. I would try to offer a star as a reward for going through the flashcards.
The flashcards sat on my kitchen table for a few days, because I was afraid to try another thing that she would not respond to.
I decided yesterday to just take them out, and have Jessica come to me. There were 216 words of varying levels.
I didn't make a big deal of it. We were sitting at the kitchen table, and I just opened the package and pulled out the first stack of cards. She started reading them out loud without me even asking.
That smart little girl read 176 of those 216 cards!!!!
It just proves to me that Jessica is truly capable of so many things. We just have to figure out a way to get her star to shine.
Reading is obviously a big deal in 1st grade. I have tried so many different ways to get Jessica to "read". I have tried typing words into the computer (because we all know how much Jessica likes my laptop), I have tried writing words on a dry erase board, I have tried buying books about cats, dogs, etc., and I have tried any and every kind of reward system there is out there.
Here are the facts:
I have a child who won't write without a fight
I have a child who won't read (even though I know she can)
I was at Staples the other day, and saw that they had flashcards for sight words. They just happened to be next to the old school metallic stars. I got an idea. I would try to offer a star as a reward for going through the flashcards.
The flashcards sat on my kitchen table for a few days, because I was afraid to try another thing that she would not respond to.
I decided yesterday to just take them out, and have Jessica come to me. There were 216 words of varying levels.
I didn't make a big deal of it. We were sitting at the kitchen table, and I just opened the package and pulled out the first stack of cards. She started reading them out loud without me even asking.
That smart little girl read 176 of those 216 cards!!!!
It just proves to me that Jessica is truly capable of so many things. We just have to figure out a way to get her star to shine.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Jessica and paper
Today was Jessica's monthly Daisy Girl Scout meeting. Lately these meetings have been touch and go with her. She has told me at home that she doesn't want to do the scouts anymore. But I know that when she sees her classmates in their vests, that she would be upset is she didn't have hers. Plus, I know for a fact that she enjoys the meetings once she is there. I think it may be an anticipation thing for her. Even though we try to keep the meeting format consistent, we are always doing different things. And unfortunately when you are on the autism spectrum, consistency is something you really crave.
Today they girls were earning a badge that had to do with being honest and fair. We had 14 girls at the meeting, and I made 7 large cupcakes, and 7 small cupcakes. The girls had to problem solve and try to find a fair way to distribute the cupcakes.
Jessica immediately started getting upset because the cupcakes were not chocolate. Then she was upset because she just wanted a cupcake and didn't want to have this long conversation about them. I KNEW this was going to be an activity that she didn't enjoy. And I KNEW that she would be very vocal and act out. It was so hard because my co-leader and I were trying to teach the girls a lesson about being fair, and here was my daughter being unfair. I really didn't know how to address it. I wanted her to be a part of the activity, but I also wanted the other girls to be able to figure it out without having Jessica screaming.
The girls finally decided that if they split the cupcakes, everyone could get 1/2 a large and 1/2 a small one. Well this set Jessica off. And you know what she ate? The cupcake paper. UGH. She likes to eat paper. I admit it. My daughter loves to eat things that are not food. And of course all the girls yell out to me "Darcy! Jessica is eating paper!!".
Once again, Jessica's actions are making her stick out. Sometimes I really wish for her to just be like the rest of the girls. To not meow and hiss at people. To eat food and not paper. But I realize that there are so many things about her that are "imperfect", and it makes her the girl I love so much. She is quirky, and funny, and silly, and shy, and has the most beautiful blueberry eyes. I really love that girl Jessica....even if she does eat paper.
Today they girls were earning a badge that had to do with being honest and fair. We had 14 girls at the meeting, and I made 7 large cupcakes, and 7 small cupcakes. The girls had to problem solve and try to find a fair way to distribute the cupcakes.
Jessica immediately started getting upset because the cupcakes were not chocolate. Then she was upset because she just wanted a cupcake and didn't want to have this long conversation about them. I KNEW this was going to be an activity that she didn't enjoy. And I KNEW that she would be very vocal and act out. It was so hard because my co-leader and I were trying to teach the girls a lesson about being fair, and here was my daughter being unfair. I really didn't know how to address it. I wanted her to be a part of the activity, but I also wanted the other girls to be able to figure it out without having Jessica screaming.
The girls finally decided that if they split the cupcakes, everyone could get 1/2 a large and 1/2 a small one. Well this set Jessica off. And you know what she ate? The cupcake paper. UGH. She likes to eat paper. I admit it. My daughter loves to eat things that are not food. And of course all the girls yell out to me "Darcy! Jessica is eating paper!!".
Once again, Jessica's actions are making her stick out. Sometimes I really wish for her to just be like the rest of the girls. To not meow and hiss at people. To eat food and not paper. But I realize that there are so many things about her that are "imperfect", and it makes her the girl I love so much. She is quirky, and funny, and silly, and shy, and has the most beautiful blueberry eyes. I really love that girl Jessica....even if she does eat paper.
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