Today has not been a good day for Jessica. I will say that she has been doing a lot better as of late.....so for her to have a day like today feels like a big punch to the gut.
Jessica was invited to a birthday party for one of the girls in her class. It was being held at a local paint your own pottery place. She had been excited to go all week. Until it was time to go.
Getting her dressed was a disaster. She didn't want to wear any of the outfits I picked out for her. But unlike a typical kid, the reasons she didn't want to wear them weren't because she didn't like the color etc. She didn't want to wear one dress because she said it was too "didgy". Now I am sure that classification is very clear to her. But to me, not so much.
After lots of tears and anxiety, I finally got her dressed. I think my next mistake was making her wear a pony tail. This caused a freakout of the highest magnitude. She told me that the elastic was ugly, she looked ugly in the pony tail, and that she wanted her little bump to be covered. I guess I should backtrack and let you know that a few years ago I discovered a lump right in front of her right ear, along her cheek. We took her to a plastic surgeon, and she had some tests done. Luckily, the bump was nothing that medically needed to be taken care of. But to a kid like Jessica, the bump is a HUGE deal. She always wants it covered, and has a lot of anxiety about it.
So after the getting dressed and bump covering ordeal, I was hopeful that she would get over the bad day hump and be happy to go to the party. The car ride was very tearful, but Jessica did pull herself together enough to get excited and ran into the party. At this point about 7 girls from her class ran up to her and informed her that they had Hello Kitty plaster statues to paint. The girls in her class really do watch out for her ;-) So I felt ok about leaving her.
Jessica is at the age where parents "dump and run" at birthday parties. So far this year Jessica has done very well at these parties without me there. Today was a little different. I went to pick her up after 90 minutes and I could see that she had been crying and that she was very upset. She kept insisting on a pink balloon, and asking where her goodies were. She was also upset that she couldn't watch her friend open her presents (the Mom smartly decided to do this at home). What makes Jessica different is at this age some of the kids may be thinking all of thiese things, but they don't react to them. They don't let the fact that their balloon isn't pink eat away at them until they can't control their actions.
I looked at the Dad of the birthday girl, and I could tell that Jessica had been acting this way the whole party. I immediatley felt embarassed....but then felt bad for Jessica because I knew that she was struggling to keep it together the whole time.
The good news is that I took Jessica home, she stiripped off her clothes and is happy as a clam playing with her Ugly Dolls. She needs structure and predictability....something that she didn't really have at the party today.
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