Jessica and paper

Today was Jessica's monthly Daisy Girl Scout meeting. Lately these meetings have been touch and go with her. She has told me at home that she doesn't want to do the scouts anymore. But I know that when she sees her classmates in their vests, that she would be upset is she didn't have hers. Plus, I know for a fact that she enjoys the meetings once she is there. I think it may be an anticipation thing for her. Even though we try to keep the meeting format consistent, we are always doing different things. And unfortunately when you are on the autism spectrum, consistency is something you really crave.

Today they girls were earning a badge that had to do with being honest and fair. We had 14 girls at the meeting, and I made 7 large cupcakes, and 7 small cupcakes. The girls had to problem solve and try to find a fair way to distribute the cupcakes.

Jessica immediately started getting upset because the cupcakes were not chocolate. Then she was upset because she just wanted a cupcake and didn't want to have this long conversation about them. I KNEW this was going to be an activity that she didn't enjoy. And I KNEW that she would be very vocal and act out. It was so hard because my co-leader and I were trying to teach the girls a lesson about being fair, and here was my daughter being unfair. I really didn't know how to address it. I wanted her to be a part of the activity, but I also wanted the other girls to be able to figure it out without having Jessica screaming.

The girls finally decided that if they split the cupcakes, everyone could get 1/2 a large and 1/2 a small one. Well this set Jessica off. And you know what she ate? The cupcake paper. UGH. She likes to eat paper. I admit it. My daughter loves to eat things that are not food. And of course all the girls yell out to me "Darcy! Jessica is eating paper!!".

Once again, Jessica's actions are making her stick out. Sometimes I really wish for her to just be like the rest of the girls. To not meow and hiss at people. To eat food and not paper. But I realize that there are so many things about her that are "imperfect", and it makes her the girl I love so much. She is quirky, and funny, and silly, and shy, and has the most beautiful blueberry eyes. I really love that girl Jessica....even if she does eat paper.